May 30, 2023

Tricia Oak

Business & Finance Excellency

Miss out on Manners: Close friends and loved ones joke our lunches are small business bills


Dear Miss out on Manners: I am a certified general public accountant who frequently entertains clients and small business associates during lunch and dinner conferences. I also appreciate web hosting loved ones and pals at restaurants.

When I decide up the test with the latter team, somebody frequently helps make a comment this sort of as, “This should be a enterprise cost or a generate-off” — suggesting that I’m both dishonest my company or cheating on my taxes, relatively than dealing with them to a good food at my personal cost. I’m at a net reduction as to how to respond.

Excellent 1. Miss out on Manners will do her greatest to present some asset-stance.

Negative accounting puns aside, she suggests that when confronted with such rude accusations, you appear hurt and quietly say, “I would never do that. I just preferred to choose you out and enjoy your company.” Even if they ended up joking, that ought to shame the inventory out of them.

Expensive Overlook Manners: When is it okay to refer to someone as “dead”?

My cousin died of cancer at age 82. She had been very unwell for some time, so it was not a shock when she died. I wrote her spouse a condolence letter, expressing that I was “sorry to master about her loss of life.” I then reread my take note and wondered if I should really have reported one thing along the lines of her “passing” in its place.

Is it much too harsh to say “dead” or “death”? Why do some people today say “passing” or “passed”? It just appears to be sugarcoating demise.

Persons do go to wonderful lengths to stay clear of expressing the term “death,” just as they do the term “money.”

But euphemisms can generally audio foolish and inaccurate. That you “lost” an individual begs the listener to marvel at your forgetfulness. And “passing” has religious connotations that might not be meant (despite the fact that “passed away” is slightly better).

Miss Manners condones the use of the word “death” as lengthy as it does not seem unduly severe — and she does not consider what you wrote does.

Dear Miss out on Manners: My partner and I have 3 wonderful grandchildren. A lot of folks ask me, “How frequently do you see your grandchildren?” When I response with just about anything but the word “daily,” I am often met with responses this kind of as, “Oh, is that all?” or “Don’t you want it ended up additional generally?”

Is there some “grandmother contest” that I am unaware of? I feel as while I’m being judged by how typically I see, or never see, my grandchildren. I have by no means thought to request other people this dilemma, and my husband is under no circumstances questioned.

Our children consider we are excellent moms and dads and grandparents, and we are content with the time invested with our grandchildren. What is the most effective way to reply to this issue that will not direct to additional intrusive concerns?

“The fantastic sum.”

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